 I have always been a rule follower. Knowing where clearly marked borders are gives me the freedom to move within the safety of its lines. Yet, every coin has another side. Every good thing made to help us can indeed become an obstacle for us as soon as we place it between God and us. We can become so comfortable focusing on the rule of law that it becomes what we trust. We can become legalistic and miss entirely the spirit of the law. Everything in creation is subordinate to the law of Love.
Imagine a spouse standing right next to the “no cheating” boundary, seeing how far they can go while not crossing the line. I’d say that marriage is in trouble. Their focus is on the line rather than on loving their spouse. Rules and boundaries are essential in all relationships. As a married person, knowing that cheating on your spouse is a definitive NO is important. Yet, if that is where our focus remains, on what not to do, we might miss living and experiencing the very relationship the boundaries were meant to protect. The same thing happens in our relationship with God. If our focus remains only on paying attention to the boundaries, we miss entering into the heart of God.
God wants us to be faithful, to love Him above all things, to believe in His love for us, and to trust in Him. It is not around the edges, around shallow waters, where we will find the fulfillment of this. It is by going towards His Heart, away from the things that used to bring us comfort and safety. As long as we move towards the center, we don’t have to fear losing our footing in the deep. He is there to hold us, for we were made for Him.
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What’s the first thing that comes to mind when we hear the word sacrifice? For me, I think of a mom or a dad sacrificing themselves for their child, putting the needs of the children above their own, perhaps even going without a necessity. I think of how my husband lets the boys eat the leftover pizza he had saved for lunch without batting an eye. He gets annoyed for a moment but immediately turns around and says it is fine. I think of how I left my career to care for my sons or how my mom worked three jobs after my dad died. There is an immediate relation to suffering for someone - out of love - when I hear the word sacrifice, a voluntary giving-up of something of value… so that someone else might be allowed to rise up. This is the context in which I’ve always looked at Jesus on the Cross.
But today, I came upon some words from St. Augustine that challenged me to ponder deeper on the meaning of this word… sacrifice.
“A true sacrifice is anything that we do with the aim of being united to God in holy fellowship” …anything! The question to ask ourselves is, what are we aiming for? St. Augustine continues:
We can spend our lives sacrificing ourselves yet not making a sacrifice to God. Blood, sweat, and tears wasted, living for ourselves and for strange gods. Gods that can not speak and can not love, working endlessly just to end empty-handed. Sands of time run through our fingers as we keep running away from the One who never ceases to call out for us. Repent! Return! I am your God. I’ve come to recognize a particular type of tiredness that comes upon me when I have been laboring for fruit that perishes rather than making an offering to God. A “burnt-out” feeling reminds me to return to the source. The grace of being left to my own resources is that I recognize and remember. I recognize this desolate place where I feel tired and helpless, and I remember where my strength comes from. Again and again, I find my strength renewed in the Sacraments, especially receiving Holy Communion. The beauty of this movement is that every step in the right direction is not just a sacrifice on my part, but since it is done “with the aim of being united to God in holy fellowship,” every step becomes a TRUE SACRIFICE. This act of self-compassion done to relieve the distress I feel in my heart is acceptable to God! The pain I feel becomes the means to turn back; it helps reorient my heart. Then every other act of compassion to myself or others continues to be “holy-doing,” “holy-making,”…a beautiful sacrifice. Let us then find moments through our day when we stop and examine where is our aim. If whatever we are doing is not done with the ultimate goal of being more united to God, let us ask for the grace to pivot, to reorient and set our eyes on Jesus. Let us ask Our Lady, to bring us with her heart into the arms of God. Let us become a holy living sacrifice to God.
Martha, Mary, and Lazarus… three siblings watching us from Heaven, praying for us, rooting for us. Their example is one of simplicity and love; they welcomed Jesus into their home.
I get the impression that Martha might have been the eldest, the head of the household; she represented all of them in welcoming Christ. I remember first hearing the title “Head of Household” when my mom filed her income tax return after my dad passed away. I was very young… interesting to remember such a minor detail. It might have been one of those moments when an abstract concept materializes in one’s mind. More than a simple classification for tax purposes, it defined the new status of my mother in our lives. Many people said that, as a widow, my mom had to fulfill the role of both father and mother to us. Yet, I don’t think that is really possible. She was a very busy mom, but she was still just mom; she was not dad. I think well-meaning people did not have the understanding or vocabulary to name that she was a mother and head of household. She had all the previous responsibilities of raising and mothering us, but she was now also our representative. She was legally and spiritually empowered to speak for us.
When we got married, my husband and I created a new family and a new home. Over the years, the makeup of our household has changed more than once. There have been years when my mother lived with us. Right now, one of our adult sons has moved out into his own home, yet two young adults still live with us. All three are our sons, but only two are part of our household. Our levels of authority and responsibility are different in each scenario. What does it mean to be the head of the home?
The Lord opened Lydia’s heart. She then spoke for her household, had them all baptized, and invited the Apostles to stay at their home. As a head of household, there is a role of leadership, a responsibility for those under you in the home. And that role looks different when those in your home are children than when they are adults. It looks different for a married couple than a single dad or mom. A good leader serves by helping each household member get with the program, always leading by example, and always leading with love. Before Lydia could bring Christ to her household, she had to first let Him enter her heart… only then would He be welcomed into the home. What does it mean to welcome Christ into our homes? How do we learn to sit at His feet and listen? How can we prepare to leave the tomb at the sound of His voice? Saints Martha, Mary, and Lazarus pray for us.
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AuthorsWe are Ivonne J. Hernandez, Rick Hernandez and Laura Worhacz, Lay Associates of the Congregation of the Blessed Sacrament, and brothers and sisters in Christ. 
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